An old friend

I got the pleasure today to visit an old friend's blog, in which he writes profound words, so very much like him. Intense, deeply rooted in reality, and a continuous inner struggle to understand, to fathom, and to make sense of the senseless and make sane the insanity that we call life. This monster that we call life, so full of unpleasantness, disappointments and heartaches, which sometimes carries with it so much hope and optimism for the future, but which ultimately ends with death.

This guy is an old friend from my secondary school days, head prefect and an all-around nice guy. We became lesser and lesser in contact with each other after the year 2000, when I quit Form Six to continue my education elsewhere. Since then we had met up very occasionally for Chinese New Year meetings which would also become lesser and lesser until on the third year (I think, in 2003), I just sort of distanced myself from my secondary school friends and didn't attend any gatherings until the present day.

Reading his blog (which is here), I have come to realize that he has gone through many things in life, and that these experiences enrich him. There's a Chinese saying that goes something like this: do not compare yourself with others as there is no point in doing so. This basically means that there's no use comparing apples and oranges. But I cannot help but compare myself with my old friend, and finding out that I have lived an almost carefree life, that my own worries and contemplations are neither as deep as nor as profound as my old friend's.

He had gone to the most prestigious university in Malaysia, and graduated, I have nary a doubt, with a first-class honours (assumption :)). Somehow, from what I know, his current job as an underwriter deviates from his university degree, and I don't profess to know what happened, but my guess is that he got disillusioned with his previous job and wanted to experience something new, something different.

We all have these thoughts, don't we? Just to abandon everything altogether and start from scratch, start anew, refresh our tired old selves. But how many of us have dared to take that first step to actually start over? To hit the "Delete" button and record our lives anew?

My old friend (and you know who you are), this is an entry in tribute of you: you have slogged through life with dogged perseverance and suffered major setbacks bothe professionally, personally, and spiritually (although, as you know me, I personally don't believe in spirituality, but I know you do :)) , and you have emerged unscathed. You know you're a fighter in all aspects of life. You'll fight for what you think is right, no fear. I just hope that however disillusioned you've become, you always think optimistically, for optimism is what keeps us alive.

I may scoff at how disposable life is, but the truth is, deep down inside, I fucking treasure life. Just so you know. Heh.