Open up Google.com and type in "define:tai chi" without the quotes in its search box and the first definition to crop up is this:
Tai Chi: A traditional Chinese mind-body relaxation exercise consisting of 108 intricate exercise sequences performed in a slow relaxed manner over a 30 minute period
Now, type in "define:delegation" without the quotes in Google's search box and the second definition (because this definition suits the context of this article) to appear is this:
Delegation: The assignment to others of the authority for particular functions, tasks, and decisions.
There is a connection between the two, as can clearly be seen from my above title, "Delegation through Tai Chi". Now, delegating tasks is a perfectly natural behavior for leaders. Leaders lead, and an effective leader delegates tasks to their subordinates. The effective leader is there to supervise, to guide, and to encourage. A good leader leads and instills discipline, hope, inspiration, and motivation to their subordinates. A good leader also keeps an open mind. A good leader isn't afraid to help when needed by subordinates, doesn't whine when workloads become unbearable, doesn't complain when they need to get their hands dirty.
Yes, a good leader has all those qualities, and perhaps more. I'm not a leader so I cannot profess or pretend to know about leading and what makes a good leader. I'm merely a follower, so I follow where my leader leads me. Yes, I know that a leader's job is tough and I may be so myopic so as not to see or feel or empathize or sympathize or whatever the fucking hell you call it, with the leader's job and stresses.
Yes, I may be all that but one thing I do know is, leaders have to be responsible. No matter what kind of a leader you are, a good one, a bad one, a fucking horrible one, as a leader, you have to be responsible. Only people with a strong sense of responsibility can be leaders. If a leader is not responsible for his or her own work, then what kind of a stupid motherfucking leader is (s)he?
Let me come back to delegating tasks to subordinates. Of course, one of the skills of being a leader is the innate ability to delegate tasks suited to different skill levels of subordinates. Part of being a successful and well-loved leader is being able to delegate tasks to ensure that the whole project meshes together beautifully in the end.
Again, I don't make a good leader because I suck at delegating tasks. First of all, I have a heavy sense of responsibility (if I do say so myself), so much so that for everything, every little fucking detail, every little fucking thing, I'll take it upon myself that I must do them myself. It's here that I both flounder and flourish. Flounder because I suck at delegating, thus I don't have an important criterion to become a leader. Flourish because although I don't have the skills to delegate, I have a strong sense of responsibility, which is also one of the important criteria to become a good leader.
Of course, too much of a good thing is not such a good thing after all. Let me elaborate.
There was once a leader (by rank and title) who led a team of subordinates in a world-renowned firm. Now, this leader (who shall remain nameless and shall be referred to as Ms. C from here on end) had just been promoted and shoulders the responsibility of leading a team of subordinates. She had excellent delegating skills, so much so that her delegating skills have become legendary in a short time.
In the eyes of higher management, she is efficient, because although she's inundated by work, she seems to always be able to stay on top and be in control of everything. But the truth is, she's so good in delegating tasks that she even has free time all the time to do the thing she loves: chatting on the phone, loitering around, being a bitch, etc. In the end, her subordinates do all the things. She, in turn, just hands up the work to higher management.
Re-read the last line of the preceding paragraph. Now, as mentioned before, a good leader is responsible. Ms. C however, is not responsible. She doesn't even bother to review her subordinates' work, and hands it over to higher management and gets all the credit when it is a job well done but passes the rap down to her subordinates when it is a job poorly done.
As a leader, she was once non-approachable, bossy, demanding, and did not guide her subordinates well. After some pep talk by higher management, she seemed to be more approachable than before, still very bossy and demanding, and is starting to guide her subordinates more. At least there's improvement, but her folly...
her folly...
her folly of delegating tasks is still there. She delegates tasks so that she herself won't have to get her hands dirty. She is smart, too, in that she picks subordinates whom she thinks is capable enough to handle the job given and who'll stay up late to rush for her, while she herself often takes early leave to go home and, I dunno, maybe fuck her fiance.
She's irresponsible in the sense that she delegates too much. We have a term for this in Chinese, it's called tai chi. No, it's not the exercise in this context, but it might as well be. Assigning blame to others is also a form of tai chi. Re-read the definition above. Tai chi has 108 intricate exercise sequences, so you can imagine how large her arsenal of tai chi moves is.
And tai chi is performed in a slow and relaxing manner; that's why she has so much time on her hands, so much so that when a subordinate asks for her help, she deftly tai chis that particular subordinate's request by saying, "Oh, sorry, I have to guide another subordinate" when in actual fact, she just lazes around doing absolutely nothing of substantial importance.
TO BE CONTINUED
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Philosophy of Work and of Life
This is the original unedited piece which I intended to put in my Friendster as a bulletin. Alas, I had to change the vulgar words to enable it to be posted there. The references of "bulletin" points to the bulletin board of Friendster.
For all those nitpickers and grammarians out there, you'll be the first ones to point out that grammatically, my above title of "Philosophy of Work and of Life" is correct but is aesthetically displeasing. You'll be the first to tell me to remove the "of" before "Life" so that it'll look prettier.
Well, fuck you if you think that way, because this is my piece and I'll use, MISuse, and ABuse the English language in the most fitting way that suits me.
This is going to be a long outpouring, so if you're the kind that's impatient, I suggest you skip this and GO FUCK YOURSELF.
Otherwise, please join in. See what makes me tick and what makes me disillusioned, disenfranchised, disconnected, discontent, and demotivated.
I have come to learn something which in my opinion is life shattering. I have learnt that in work, it is best to distance myself from being too close to any one of my colleagues. That in work, however hard it is, or however hurtful it may be, the best way to OPERATE EFFECTIVELY AND PRODUCTIVELY is to keep my colleagues at a distance and to detach my emotions with my professional endeavours.
When colleagues become too "chummy chummy", all manners of ugly emotions surface. Because let's face it, you can't please everyone every time. Which is why every time you feel left out, you start getting angry, you start getting jealous, you start questioning your so-called "friends-cum-colleagues".
Whether it's the unintentional dropping of your name from the list of invitees to an ex-colleague's wedding dinner, or the unintentional/intentional oversight of not calling you to join for a session of "yum cha" after work, or just any other "small" matter that precluded you from that activity, or even precluded you from the mere "invitation" to that activity, it all adds up.
You start to feel, after some time, that it's just not worth it to invest in so much emotion to connect with these friends cum colleagues when in the end, you end up feeling left out and/or shortchanged.
Of course, by "you", I could have easily meant "I".
So, in the end, one question pops up: Why bother?
It's high time to detach yourself from all this shit. Of course, the other argument may be that it's only oversight, those are small things that shouldn't ruin a friendship.
To which I rebut: it's EXACTLY these small things that ruin friendships. I consider myself a good friend once you get to know me, but I'm also notorious for breaking off friendships because of small things. Do I have regrets doing so? Maybe. But it's my nature, it's the real me, and there is little that I can do to change it.
Which is why I now feel, as I had felt when I started my work life, that colleagues should remain colleagues. But I've invested so much emotionally to be accepted by them that I feel it's very difficult to detach or separate myself from them.
Furthermore, to detach myself from them now would be a near impossible task because I really do treat them as friends. Whether or not they reciprocate is another matter, though.
I say "a near impossible task". Which means I believe it is still possible. When it gets to this stage, i.e. when I'm neck-deep in work and I cannot get any emotional support from any of my so-called friends cum colleagues, I think it is high time to just separate "friends" from "colleagues".
To not do so would be the real mistake. To not do so means I'll invest more emotionally in the so-called "friendships" and find myself being left out again and again and again.
To not do so would mean I'll self-destruct faster.
So, to those who have been reading this bulletin until now, I hope I've been clear in what I've said and you understand my feelings and emotions, as well as the rationale for my sudden change of attitude, behaviours, and values.
It's my belief that we should change in order to fit the norm and to serve our own interests.
Because deep, deep down inside, we are all selfish people.
For all those nitpickers and grammarians out there, you'll be the first ones to point out that grammatically, my above title of "Philosophy of Work and of Life" is correct but is aesthetically displeasing. You'll be the first to tell me to remove the "of" before "Life" so that it'll look prettier.
Well, fuck you if you think that way, because this is my piece and I'll use, MISuse, and ABuse the English language in the most fitting way that suits me.
This is going to be a long outpouring, so if you're the kind that's impatient, I suggest you skip this and GO FUCK YOURSELF.
Otherwise, please join in. See what makes me tick and what makes me disillusioned, disenfranchised, disconnected, discontent, and demotivated.
I have come to learn something which in my opinion is life shattering. I have learnt that in work, it is best to distance myself from being too close to any one of my colleagues. That in work, however hard it is, or however hurtful it may be, the best way to OPERATE EFFECTIVELY AND PRODUCTIVELY is to keep my colleagues at a distance and to detach my emotions with my professional endeavours.
When colleagues become too "chummy chummy", all manners of ugly emotions surface. Because let's face it, you can't please everyone every time. Which is why every time you feel left out, you start getting angry, you start getting jealous, you start questioning your so-called "friends-cum-colleagues".
Whether it's the unintentional dropping of your name from the list of invitees to an ex-colleague's wedding dinner, or the unintentional/intentional oversight of not calling you to join for a session of "yum cha" after work, or just any other "small" matter that precluded you from that activity, or even precluded you from the mere "invitation" to that activity, it all adds up.
You start to feel, after some time, that it's just not worth it to invest in so much emotion to connect with these friends cum colleagues when in the end, you end up feeling left out and/or shortchanged.
Of course, by "you", I could have easily meant "I".
So, in the end, one question pops up: Why bother?
It's high time to detach yourself from all this shit. Of course, the other argument may be that it's only oversight, those are small things that shouldn't ruin a friendship.
To which I rebut: it's EXACTLY these small things that ruin friendships. I consider myself a good friend once you get to know me, but I'm also notorious for breaking off friendships because of small things. Do I have regrets doing so? Maybe. But it's my nature, it's the real me, and there is little that I can do to change it.
Which is why I now feel, as I had felt when I started my work life, that colleagues should remain colleagues. But I've invested so much emotionally to be accepted by them that I feel it's very difficult to detach or separate myself from them.
Furthermore, to detach myself from them now would be a near impossible task because I really do treat them as friends. Whether or not they reciprocate is another matter, though.
I say "a near impossible task". Which means I believe it is still possible. When it gets to this stage, i.e. when I'm neck-deep in work and I cannot get any emotional support from any of my so-called friends cum colleagues, I think it is high time to just separate "friends" from "colleagues".
To not do so would be the real mistake. To not do so means I'll invest more emotionally in the so-called "friendships" and find myself being left out again and again and again.
To not do so would mean I'll self-destruct faster.
So, to those who have been reading this bulletin until now, I hope I've been clear in what I've said and you understand my feelings and emotions, as well as the rationale for my sudden change of attitude, behaviours, and values.
It's my belief that we should change in order to fit the norm and to serve our own interests.
Because deep, deep down inside, we are all selfish people.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Recommended music
Anything by Frank Zappa (and the Mothers of Invention), but especially the album "Hot Rats".
Anything by The Mars Volta, but especially their debut album "De-Loused at the Comatorium".
Anything by Cradle of Filth, but especially their album "Midian".
Anthrax's "Attack of the Killer B's".
Anything by the late, great Nick Drake (for some soothing music).
Anything by Metallica, but especially the album "Master of Puppets".
Anything by Yes (for some prog rock).
Anything by White Zombie, but especially "La Sexorcisto 2: The Devil's Music".
Anything by the venerable Guns N' Roses, but I especially like "Appetite for Destruction".
Anything by Blind Guardian.
Helloween's "Keeper of the Seven Keys: Part II".
Pearl Jam's "rearviewmirror".
Anything by G3 in any of their incarnations.
Machine Head's "The Blackening".
Napalm Death's "SCUM".
Cannibal Corpse's "Eaten Back to Life".
Crimson King's "In the Court of the Crimson King" (classic!).
Soundtrack of "End of Days".
Anything by The Mars Volta, but especially their debut album "De-Loused at the Comatorium".
Anything by Cradle of Filth, but especially their album "Midian".
Anthrax's "Attack of the Killer B's".
Anything by the late, great Nick Drake (for some soothing music).
Anything by Metallica, but especially the album "Master of Puppets".
Anything by Yes (for some prog rock).
Anything by White Zombie, but especially "La Sexorcisto 2: The Devil's Music".
Anything by the venerable Guns N' Roses, but I especially like "Appetite for Destruction".
Anything by Blind Guardian.
Helloween's "Keeper of the Seven Keys: Part II".
Pearl Jam's "rearviewmirror".
Anything by G3 in any of their incarnations.
Machine Head's "The Blackening".
Napalm Death's "SCUM".
Cannibal Corpse's "Eaten Back to Life".
Crimson King's "In the Court of the Crimson King" (classic!).
Soundtrack of "End of Days".
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Disillusionment
As I am sitting here typing this, it's 8.29p.m. on a Sunday in office. I've worked seven days a week, although I cannot say with certainty that I've put that much effective hours into my work. Because, ladies and gentlemen, let's face it, with an Internet connection, there's really no controlling myself to surf the Internet during one of my many "AHHH!! I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF WORK!!!" moments now, is there?
Well, the good news is that I've got myself promoted and my salary has been revised to boot. But the bad news is...aplenty. Which will, by the time I finish this entry, lead to one word: disillusionment.
I'd like to think that the reason I got promoted is because I have excelled in my work, that my performance merits some sort of reward in the form of a salary increase and promotion. Looking back at the past 8 months which I've worked in my current firm, I noticed something very disturbing. And I use that word very, very loosely.
I've sucked with time. That's the gist of it; I'm sucking more and more as I go along. I compare my efficiency now with my efficiency several months ago, heck, even a year ago when I was a trainee in this same firm, and I notice that my level of efficiency has dropped dramatically. Which is why I have the firm belief that the promotion is just a way of (officially) saying "Hey, you! We want to push you to a higher level because WE HAVEN'T GOT ENOUGH PEOPLE IN THAT LEVEL!!"
------------------------------I went back home at this stage and the subsequent paragraphs were added today, Tuesday, at 7.46pm--------------------------------------------
So, left and right, all that I manage to see (and I do emphasize that I'm a pessimist both by heart and by choice) is disillusionment. (Almost) all my colleagues feel the same way that I do. I'm beginning to have serious doubts about the work that I'm doing, not because I'm questioning the underlying reasons that it must be done this, that, or any other fucking way, but because I'm starting to doubt myself.
I'm starting to get disillusioned about work, which in turn affects my outlook on life. Which sucks because I'm now in a constant state of tiresome depression and I don't get enough sleep. I'm currently riding the "peak season" now, which in my line (audit), often means having to work til 3-4am every day, with 3 or at the maximum, 4 hours, of sleep daily.
Work is neverending for me. Even after ending one job, there will be other jobs. This vicious cycle has been going on nonstop since the day I joined the firm, but has just recently escalated to an almost unbearable level.
I still fervently and sincerely believe that I can take much more pressure, but at the same time, am feeling disillusioned, at my job, at myself, and at my life.
Well, the good news is that I've got myself promoted and my salary has been revised to boot. But the bad news is...aplenty. Which will, by the time I finish this entry, lead to one word: disillusionment.
I'd like to think that the reason I got promoted is because I have excelled in my work, that my performance merits some sort of reward in the form of a salary increase and promotion. Looking back at the past 8 months which I've worked in my current firm, I noticed something very disturbing. And I use that word very, very loosely.
I've sucked with time. That's the gist of it; I'm sucking more and more as I go along. I compare my efficiency now with my efficiency several months ago, heck, even a year ago when I was a trainee in this same firm, and I notice that my level of efficiency has dropped dramatically. Which is why I have the firm belief that the promotion is just a way of (officially) saying "Hey, you! We want to push you to a higher level because WE HAVEN'T GOT ENOUGH PEOPLE IN THAT LEVEL!!"
------------------------------I went back home at this stage and the subsequent paragraphs were added today, Tuesday, at 7.46pm--------------------------------------------
So, left and right, all that I manage to see (and I do emphasize that I'm a pessimist both by heart and by choice) is disillusionment. (Almost) all my colleagues feel the same way that I do. I'm beginning to have serious doubts about the work that I'm doing, not because I'm questioning the underlying reasons that it must be done this, that, or any other fucking way, but because I'm starting to doubt myself.
I'm starting to get disillusioned about work, which in turn affects my outlook on life. Which sucks because I'm now in a constant state of tiresome depression and I don't get enough sleep. I'm currently riding the "peak season" now, which in my line (audit), often means having to work til 3-4am every day, with 3 or at the maximum, 4 hours, of sleep daily.
Work is neverending for me. Even after ending one job, there will be other jobs. This vicious cycle has been going on nonstop since the day I joined the firm, but has just recently escalated to an almost unbearable level.
I still fervently and sincerely believe that I can take much more pressure, but at the same time, am feeling disillusioned, at my job, at myself, and at my life.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
An old friend
I got the pleasure today to visit an old friend's blog, in which he writes profound words, so very much like him. Intense, deeply rooted in reality, and a continuous inner struggle to understand, to fathom, and to make sense of the senseless and make sane the insanity that we call life. This monster that we call life, so full of unpleasantness, disappointments and heartaches, which sometimes carries with it so much hope and optimism for the future, but which ultimately ends with death.
This guy is an old friend from my secondary school days, head prefect and an all-around nice guy. We became lesser and lesser in contact with each other after the year 2000, when I quit Form Six to continue my education elsewhere. Since then we had met up very occasionally for Chinese New Year meetings which would also become lesser and lesser until on the third year (I think, in 2003), I just sort of distanced myself from my secondary school friends and didn't attend any gatherings until the present day.
Reading his blog (which is here), I have come to realize that he has gone through many things in life, and that these experiences enrich him. There's a Chinese saying that goes something like this: do not compare yourself with others as there is no point in doing so. This basically means that there's no use comparing apples and oranges. But I cannot help but compare myself with my old friend, and finding out that I have lived an almost carefree life, that my own worries and contemplations are neither as deep as nor as profound as my old friend's.
He had gone to the most prestigious university in Malaysia, and graduated, I have nary a doubt, with a first-class honours (assumption :)). Somehow, from what I know, his current job as an underwriter deviates from his university degree, and I don't profess to know what happened, but my guess is that he got disillusioned with his previous job and wanted to experience something new, something different.
We all have these thoughts, don't we? Just to abandon everything altogether and start from scratch, start anew, refresh our tired old selves. But how many of us have dared to take that first step to actually start over? To hit the "Delete" button and record our lives anew?
My old friend (and you know who you are), this is an entry in tribute of you: you have slogged through life with dogged perseverance and suffered major setbacks bothe professionally, personally, and spiritually (although, as you know me, I personally don't believe in spirituality, but I know you do :)) , and you have emerged unscathed. You know you're a fighter in all aspects of life. You'll fight for what you think is right, no fear. I just hope that however disillusioned you've become, you always think optimistically, for optimism is what keeps us alive.
I may scoff at how disposable life is, but the truth is, deep down inside, I fucking treasure life. Just so you know. Heh.
This guy is an old friend from my secondary school days, head prefect and an all-around nice guy. We became lesser and lesser in contact with each other after the year 2000, when I quit Form Six to continue my education elsewhere. Since then we had met up very occasionally for Chinese New Year meetings which would also become lesser and lesser until on the third year (I think, in 2003), I just sort of distanced myself from my secondary school friends and didn't attend any gatherings until the present day.
Reading his blog (which is here), I have come to realize that he has gone through many things in life, and that these experiences enrich him. There's a Chinese saying that goes something like this: do not compare yourself with others as there is no point in doing so. This basically means that there's no use comparing apples and oranges. But I cannot help but compare myself with my old friend, and finding out that I have lived an almost carefree life, that my own worries and contemplations are neither as deep as nor as profound as my old friend's.
He had gone to the most prestigious university in Malaysia, and graduated, I have nary a doubt, with a first-class honours (assumption :)). Somehow, from what I know, his current job as an underwriter deviates from his university degree, and I don't profess to know what happened, but my guess is that he got disillusioned with his previous job and wanted to experience something new, something different.
We all have these thoughts, don't we? Just to abandon everything altogether and start from scratch, start anew, refresh our tired old selves. But how many of us have dared to take that first step to actually start over? To hit the "Delete" button and record our lives anew?
My old friend (and you know who you are), this is an entry in tribute of you: you have slogged through life with dogged perseverance and suffered major setbacks bothe professionally, personally, and spiritually (although, as you know me, I personally don't believe in spirituality, but I know you do :)) , and you have emerged unscathed. You know you're a fighter in all aspects of life. You'll fight for what you think is right, no fear. I just hope that however disillusioned you've become, you always think optimistically, for optimism is what keeps us alive.
I may scoff at how disposable life is, but the truth is, deep down inside, I fucking treasure life. Just so you know. Heh.
Monday, January 07, 2008
Work, work, work
I never really gave a shit for any celebrations. Not new year, not chinese new year, not hari raya, not christmas, not deepavali, none of that shit interests me. I never really understood the meaning of all these celebrations, never had any religious inclinations nor am I really rooted to my, umm, roots to care enough about these stupid motherfucking celebrations.
Celebrations of joy, celebrations of life, fuck, all those are bullshit.
I never believed in any of those, and I guess I never ever will. I just cannot get it past my mind, just cannot wrap it around my head: what's the big fucking fuss about all these mindless, meaningless celebrations?
You celebrate for awhile, then it's back to the good old grind that we call "life". Shit huh? Celebrations are just excuses for one to say "fuck all this" and get rested so that s/he can go on struggling in life.
I guess the rich have it good, huh?
They get to party every day, thus treating every day as a celebration, with tonnes of money left to spend. What an unfair world, but the world has always been unfair.
Division of wealth? No such thing. Short of robbing banks, a less-than-the-average-social-class person will never ever get rich. I don't give a fuck how hardworking he is, or how many jobs he moonlights, he will never in this life get rich. Unless, of course, he experiences some fluke such as striking the lottery or robbing banks.
Such is the state of humanity today. Life fucking sucks, and the world keeps turning.
So why the celebration?
Celebrations of joy, celebrations of life, fuck, all those are bullshit.
I never believed in any of those, and I guess I never ever will. I just cannot get it past my mind, just cannot wrap it around my head: what's the big fucking fuss about all these mindless, meaningless celebrations?
You celebrate for awhile, then it's back to the good old grind that we call "life". Shit huh? Celebrations are just excuses for one to say "fuck all this" and get rested so that s/he can go on struggling in life.
I guess the rich have it good, huh?
They get to party every day, thus treating every day as a celebration, with tonnes of money left to spend. What an unfair world, but the world has always been unfair.
Division of wealth? No such thing. Short of robbing banks, a less-than-the-average-social-class person will never ever get rich. I don't give a fuck how hardworking he is, or how many jobs he moonlights, he will never in this life get rich. Unless, of course, he experiences some fluke such as striking the lottery or robbing banks.
Such is the state of humanity today. Life fucking sucks, and the world keeps turning.
So why the celebration?
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