The ups and downs of life

I've been thinking lately. Well, not thinking thinking, if you get my drift. Not thinking thinking thinking. Just thinking. Skritcha skritcha-ing the surface stuff, nothing overly deep or philosophical. Just been thinking some stuff over.

You know, I've been working as a permanent audit staff for two almost three months now, and I get demotivated and depressed every now and then by just looking at the tons and tons of unfinished work I have on my hands. Really serious shit, I tell you. Really, really serious backlog shit shit.

Which got me thinking. In life we have our ups and downs, but how do we really handle the fucking downs in our lives? How do we motivate ourselves to get the fuck up in the mornings and just wade through all the shit that's piling up on us...just to maybe get through another day unscathed physically and, more importantly, mentally?

Believe me, one could go bonkers and shit-stone-cold-motherfuckin' crazy if one is not mentally and physically "tested" to go through what auditors go through.

Actually the word "auditor" is a complete fucking misnomer...I'm technically an "audit assistant" a.k.a junior a.k.a insignificant little speck of germ. But I'll get there soon, I'll climb up the ladder and when I turn 40 I'll perhaps be the partner of the firm.

If I don't quit after six months and open up a shit-shovelling company. After all, this job has taught me, more or less, how to shovel shitload after shitload of shit each and every day (well, almost).

But don't get me wrong. I respect the job. After all, if I don't shovel the shit, who will? Teamwork, man! One shovels the shit while the other, errr, passes it along.

How not to get demotivated is a somewhat less important question than how to get myself motivated? By waking up every morning and taking a cold shower, constantly reminding myself that today will be better than yesterday, and that I'll make things happen instead of waiting for things to happen or waiting for someone to make my things happen. By thinking of ways to work smart rather than work hard. By constantly reminding myself that I have a loonnnng way to go before I reach "successful careerist" title, when I'm 45 and retire early and do the things that I want to do.

That's how I motivate myself.

Then I take a look at the amount of work/shit I have outstanding and...

...I crumble. Well, almost. I just keep refreshing my mind and keep reminding myself that it's worth it all the fucking way. No regrets, just a lot of blood (well, figuratively at least), sweat and motherfucking tears (to borrow a phrase). That one day I'll reach the apex and the pinnacle of...

...Oh shit, I better stop before I sound like some corny, overused and oft-repeated cliche of the 80s. What the fuck.